Virginity; the Sexual-Faith

Voltaire once was quoted expressing “It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge.”

And it is certainly a strange condition of humanity, and yet so surprising it still exists in willing-adult form today. It can be exchanged, given, taken, lost, stolen from you, and it is limited to one. Is that where the value comes from? Certainly not. It has maintained a social, financial, and even legal value throughout history, and almost entirely on one side of the gender spectrum.


As a sexually promiscuous species which changed threads in conjunction with the agricultural revolution, women quickly drifted from participants to possessions as patriarchal societies developed a system of control to ascertain parenthood and lineage, necessitating virginity as evidence of a young woman’s purity. I didn’t think I could summarize that one so succinctly, but I apologize for the short form. Read here for more.

It was once noble, virtuous, admired, desired, and demanded. Since our very recent revolutions of Human Rights, Individualism, and Sexual Expression, a once great taboo became something of a joke, and in many circles, something of shame. as popular media glorified sexuality and demonized the inexperienced, those who had chosen a life of ‘purity’ now felt compelled away from it.

The cake is a Lie

So we have a societal construct on our hands which has lingered beyond it’s claims, and we would expect such a tradition to fade into obscurity, yet it remains. The concept of virginity is largely based on misconceptions of science, as well as fear,  such as the tearing of the hymen, pain when losing virginity, bleeding, etc. The grand majority of these misconceptions comes from the master of misdirection – religion.

The most stubborn tradition of all, religion maintains it’s obsession with sex (or the control of it), while venerating a purity of inexperience. In a way, it is a sexual-faith. Our ancient superstitions and mythologies, especially monotheism, subsumed and latched on to the fear of sex and the obsession of virginity. Even in the 21st century, it has convinced many that ignorance of sexuality is the right path. Sometimes we don’t pay attention, but it is there, from TLC’s show “Virgin Diaries”, specials on Oprah,  to the large numbers who actually follow the teaching of the church, such as Tim Tebow, who will wait until marriage.

With the recent news articles and documentaries about “Purity Balls”, the world has once again become shocked by the level of sexual suppression (and some unsavory overtones), rather than openness, education, and disease prevention. Please tell me this does not make your face wrinkle up. Do you notice this kind of celebration of ignorance is still not practiced with groups of teen guys? Oh, they thought of that.

Purity Ball website Generation of Light has an answer for that as well. “Every year we invite the sons to attend the Ball to watch the way their fathers treat young women, and have had many attend with their families because we believe this standard is also important for young men to live out in their lives.” Once again, it is a tutorial, to show men how to guide women’s sexuality, and a refusal to see that as a sexist, patriarchal culture.

No More Pressure!

Now there should never be pressure to lose your virginity, especially if someone wishes to keep it until they are educated and ready, willing to give consent.  however the opposite is true as well. Let us ask organizations to stop condemning society for normal, healthy expressions of sexuality, from intercourse to masturbation. Consent is the ONLY element of morality when we discuss sexuality.

To end with a quote,

- Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet.-

St. Augustine

Forming Ranks Against Domestic Violence

This evening I attended to Fargo City Commission meeting, and one message I have to deliver to our policy makers is - THANK YOU for identifying domestic violence as a major focus.

Police Chief Keith Ternes delivered the 2013 year-end crime data report to the Mayor and commissioners and the single longest point of discussion was directed towards the serious domestic violence problem. Happily, the message was well received and reciprocated by the board.

The worst thing we can do as a society is to ignore the problem of domestic violence, and understand that out silence is affirming. Let us stand together against Rape, Abuse, and Domestic Violence. Oh, and men: let us redefine masculinity to include the ability to speak up against this.

Also visit and support the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center.
https://www.raccfm.com/

The Right Thing to Do

I have seen some banter recently on Facebook regarding the poor condition Fred Phelps is experiencing at the moment, and thought it needed a bit of reflection.

Granted, part of me would like to take a road trip to visit his future tombstone and express a range of vulgarities in, on, and around it. Ironically, this would provide more credence to life in the hereafter than justice here on Earth. Indeed, perhaps with even more irony, the most impactful message any person or group could offer a the moment is unconditional condolences to the family.

Let’s not forget what the Phelps are most famous for: The hate-filled protests and picketing of events and funerals with the message that god does not care for homosexuals. Some have argued that the main source of hatred comes from Fred’s own brushes with homosexuality as a younger man, and perhaps his denial as an adult. These members of the church are not monsters, but misinformed and uneducated. A number of the family have escaped and now live in the real world, only understanding in hindsight the destructive message they grew up with.

Nathan Phelps (who I met last year), Fred’s son, is now an atheist and an LGBTQ activist, for example. Indeed I love hearing when people use the expression “There is no hate greater than Christian love.” because it emphasizes the source of their abysmal ethics and moral choices. On that note, I think Atheists have to embrace the thing which many Christians have failed to: forgiveness and love.

A number of prominent members have walked away from their family knowing they would be disowned, and not because people were quick to return the hatred, but because they felt more welcome on the outside. Any attacks on Westboro Baptist Church only confirms to members that they are the victims.

I say to you, let’s start a new campaign idea: lets coordinate to atheist groups around the country and send a card to the Westboro Baptist Church, as PRO LGBTQ groups, reminding them how to love again! Please comment if you can share this post with other groups.

Creationism... To Debate or Not to Debate...

Ever since Bill Nye decided to publicly debate Ken Ham, I have been cringing. Everybody knows, you NEVER NEVER DEBATE A CREATIONIST. There have been many classic points to support this position, many are some that I still hold. Yet there has been some doubt lingering in the back of my mind (can you imagine?!?) and I think it is important to try and understand why a clearly intelligent guy like Nye would choose to do this. He does not need the publicity, or money. So why?

Typically there are a few ideas we need to understand. Debating creationists often gives the false impression that there is actually something to debate. Nope. Creationism in any form is demonstrably wrong, inherently contradictory, and based on a priori assumptions. By bringing attention to Ken Ham and his ilk, Nye not only raised large sums of money for Ham's Creation Museum, which sets out to accomplish the opposite of what Bill intends, but it has the added complication of a rigged match.

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2014/02/ken_ham_bill_nye_debate_science_and_fact_versus_fiction_and_fantasy.html

Scientists have to play by the rules, limited by logic, rationality, and the confines of evidence based reason... Creationists can and do simply make it up as they go along, using faith as a cop-out at every turn.

Going into the debate, I was highly skeptical. Now that the dust has settled, however, I see good ol' Phil Plait, astronomer and science advocate, was the one pointing out something we all missed!

http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2014/02/05/creationism_debate_should_we_engage_anti_science.html

"But I’ve thought about it, and here’s the important thing to remember: Roughly half the population of America does believe in some form of creationism or another. Half. Given that creationism is provably wrong, and science has enjoyed huge overwhelming success over the years, something is clearly broken in our country."

And he is correct. There is something wrong with the way we deliver science to the public, and since the debate itself caused more controversy than we have ever seen coming out of the Discovery Institute, the organization trying to put creationism in the classrooms, perhaps this is an opportunity to illuminate some of the crazy. I would even go so far as to say that by choosing Ken Ham, Bill Bye has embarrassed those with 'faith-based science' all over the country. Pat Robertson of the 700 Club said "Let's be real, let's not make a joke of ourselves."  Perhaps a bit late, Pat.

Biologist Jerry Coyne, initially was strongly against the debate occurring, came out afterwards stating that Nye had clearly won the discussion. In his article, he cites a poll at Christian Today website, 92% of viewers said that Bill Nye won. 92%!!

 http://www.newrepublic.com/article/116478/bill-nye-ken-ham-debate-creationism-and-evolution-science-wins

So let us re-think how we approach creationism. Perhaps the apathy I have so chillingly spoke of before has likewise been  offered to ignore creationism. Perhaps we should ask those to honestly defend their position. There is a possibility that the majority of Christians will stand up against this insanity, if only to avoid the embarrassment.

Why I Can't Just Let People Be Happy With Religion

So many in the atheist community have asked me why I cannot simply be satisfied with the position in society of being accepted without bigotry. It is a good question and one I feel that I should take a look at.

In the simplest possible terms, we, as human beings on planet earth, do not live in bubbles insulated from one another. Throughout human history, the studies on ethics, morals, law, philosophy, and of course, theology have strived to find ways we should behave around each other, and have yet to come to a concise solution. Generally, we know that what one believes impacts how we interact, how we vote, how we raise our kids, and how we build for tomorrow.

As an example, if you believe the world is 6000 years old and is a testing ground for the real life after, then you might tend to miss the scarcity and preciousness of this one. You might seek death as a form of delivery. If you think that this world is an illusion, you might be ready to take ever-riskier challenges to test this.

But belief has it's limits, and generally, when confronted by new evidence, beliefs change. Unless, of course, it is based on faith. Faith is the enemy of reason, a grand test of gullibility, and a sacrificial offering of our critical faculties. To distill what is so wrong about the great number of faiths in this world, is no easy task, yet I will attempt it. The essential fanaticism, the consideration of human life as vessels to our reward, as opposed to our sole form of verifiable existence. The fantasy of purity, one which punishes normal human actions as dirty, wrong, or sinful, created sick, and commanded to be well by a cruel designer who has allowed this experiment to go on.

Usually this faith-based creator has an insatiable thirst for uncritical praise, and usually in the manner by which the faithful has come to by his own interpretation of holy writ, and which allows the desired morals to be enacted in the name of said faith.

Rather than seeking an objective truth by finding common ground, the faithful are encouraged to continuously seek personal experiences which reveal a subjective truth, often fulfilling a personal bias they have already had. Rather than maintain curiosity, the faithful tend to close their minds off to other possibilities.

Those with faith tend to answer questions with ambiguous, non-answers. Q: Why?A:  God. Q:Why God? A: God. A:Oh, and Love. Q: Should I believe? A: Faith. These types of answers tend to close the book on learning and have independently never arrived at any further knowledge, objective understanding or information.

Faith tends to infect every aspect of society, often leading to malformed logic regarding Economics, Education, Social Programs, Scientific Advancement, and often leads to the promotion of pseudoscience. Faith is the primitive disease we have the cure for, and despite the attempts to stamp it out, it manages to infiltrate our 21st century society.

Is religion inherently built on Faith? I do not necessarily think so. So what would it take for religion to give up in order to be off my radar as a concern? Let me take from the eternal Christopher Hitchens:

"It would have to give up all supernatural claims... No you are not to do this under the threat of reward, heaven, or the terror of punishment, hell. No, we can not offer you miracles... It would have to give up the idea of an eternal, unalterable authority figure, who is judge, jury, and executioner against whom there could be no appeal, and who wasn't finished with you, even when you died.

That's quite a lot for religion to give up, don't you think?"

Two Approaches, One Theology

I have tried for the last five days to summarize this entry into a short blog post, however my recent interactions today, perhaps I can cement a frustration many atheists have with large religious organizations.

For a long time, I have seen religions all around the world create problems, only to sell the solutions at the behest of the pulpit with threats of damnation and scare tactics. Sin is a perfect example of this. Invent sin, sell purity; Invent hell, offer heaven; Invent the mystery, offer truth.

Another problem emerges all together when you have found ways to intellectually overcome the scare tactics and yet stick with said scare tactics to maintain followers. This is what I have found recently with the Bison Catholics, NDSU's higher-education Catholic group.

After spending Sunday morning and afternoon as a guest of Mass and afterwards, social interaction, I have to speak very highly of my hosts and their tolerance to have an atheist present to play the Devil's Advocate. We discussed a wide range of issues, and throughout a majority of them, there was some level of disagreement, however there was also a level of intellectual honesty that I rarely find. This side of theology is rarely presented in followers of faith-based organizations in my experience, and despite some flawed logic, there was a considerable effort to remain honest to my eyes.

This is a common effect I get when there is a skeptic present, or at least when someone has prepared for a skeptic to be present. It is when no skeptic is expected is when we see the other approach. Last Wednesday, catholic speaker Viki Thorn spoke to a catholic crowd in the Memorial Union on campus and delivered a combination of gender stereotypes, America-centric observations, and complete scientific falsehoods all under the flag of science and medicine.

Using the unscientific language of a layman, she entirely dismissed the nature/nurture discussion by announcing that men and women are born to fill specific roles. Men will never be able to multitask, women are not expected to do anything well while menstruating, and men are unable to process emotion. Using poorly-worded explanations of real scientific studies ("They tested monkeys","Pornography is not sex; pornography is addiction.""From the moment of conception, 'babies' are already communicating their desires."), she laid out why she thinks Pornography leads to rape and sexual deviation, contraception will lead to the destruction of your relationship, it will kill you because of blood clots, and all men hate shopping.

She continued to deliver all manner of unfounded propaganda with assertive and authoritarian tones, while claiming her qualifications for this is that she has had six children. Thankfully, I was sitting with biologists and sexual education experts who COULD tell me how science presents these topics.


So here is the crux of it... After the presentation, many of the people who we talked to often proclaimed ignorance of the knowledge, yet felt she was compelling. In other words, when the echo chamber of religion is thorough, critical thinking does not seem to hold much weight. Yet when we get personally involved, I hear often of how they promote their followers to do their own research. Which is it, and would you please be consistent? What I witnessed on Wednesday was pure catholic propaganda mixed with a dash of science for effect. Today I enjoyed a philosophical discussion that bridged gaps. Let's stop hearing what we want to and engage in critical thinking.

Understanding the Importance of Optimism and Momentum

With any new activist group, we can always expect hiccups, unexpected obstacles, and of course, your occasional nay-sayer.

So far, I can say I am genuinely pleased about the turnouts and support. It has given me much confidence for continuing to not only build a better Fargo area, but to find myself calling it home with a sense of satisfaction.

I think some of the greatest challenges can be on opposite ends of the spectrum. On one hand, it can be hard to contain my excitement about long-term projects, knowing the anticipation with make progress feel slow. On the other hand, it is so important to keep morale a focus of the group.

As atheists in the area, we have many obligations while raising awareness. Constructive efforts are first and foremost. It means going out of our way to avoid the resentment and vitriol that we all have at times and remembering that our neighbors are our friends regardless of their beliefs. It also means keeping a positive outlook when reacting to some of the theocratic encroachment we see every day. There is something I am often reminded of: people often forget what I say, but they truly remember how I made them feel.

Another obligation is one of respect in society. Yes, we know we can be good without god, but I think we need to work extra hard as a suppressed minority to demonstrate that. Great Plains Atheists will be organizing many upcoming events. Let's get involved. Let's work with churches to feed the hungry, or help blood drives, or run a marathon, but the last thing we need to demonstrate is that we refuse to work with society because a some people discriminate.

The last obligation I will point out today is one of community. Let us remember how isolated and lonely many of us felt when we realized we did not believe anymore. Just remember there are still thousands out there with the same frustrations. Help to run your campus's Secular Student Alliance, and if you don't have one, Great Plains A's will help you get the contacts and resources to start one.

Join the FM Secular Community for regular social events, or  contact GPA (contact@greatplainsatheists.org) to get involved with activism. Just remember, we have made great strides in a very short time, and momentum is increasing, but let's not stop there. Help your local high school kids organize a group of their own, start a book club, or write a letter to your representatives. GPA will be sending delegates to speak with our elected officials, but without the community support, our voices may be perceived as the squeaky wheel. Most importantly, write us or comment here to let us hear how we can better support or represent you!

I am loving Fargo more and more every day, and it is because I am realizing that I am surrounded by friends and people who care. Thank you!