Voltaire once was quoted expressing “It is an infantile superstition
of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the
barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge.”
And it is certainly a strange condition of humanity, and yet so
surprising it still exists in willing-adult form today. It can be
exchanged, given, taken, lost, stolen from you, and it is limited to
one. Is that where the value comes from? Certainly not. It has
maintained a social, financial, and even legal value throughout history,
and almost entirely on one side of the gender spectrum.
As a sexually promiscuous species which changed threads in
conjunction with the agricultural revolution, women quickly drifted from
participants to possessions as patriarchal societies developed a system
of control to ascertain parenthood and lineage, necessitating virginity
as evidence of a young woman’s purity. I didn’t think I could summarize
that one so succinctly, but I apologize for the short form. Read here for more.
It was once noble, virtuous, admired, desired, and demanded. Since
our very recent revolutions of Human Rights, Individualism, and Sexual
Expression, a once great taboo became something of a joke, and in many
circles, something of shame. as popular media glorified sexuality and
demonized the inexperienced, those who had chosen a life of ‘purity’ now
felt compelled away from it.
The cake is a Lie
So we have a societal construct on our hands which has lingered
beyond it’s claims, and we would expect such a tradition to fade into
obscurity, yet it remains. The concept of virginity is largely based on misconceptions of science,
as well as fear, such as the tearing of the hymen, pain when losing
virginity, bleeding, etc. The grand majority of these misconceptions
comes from the master of misdirection – religion.
The most stubborn tradition of all, religion maintains it’s obsession
with sex (or the control of it), while venerating a purity of
inexperience. In a way, it is a sexual-faith. Our ancient superstitions
and mythologies, especially monotheism, subsumed and latched on to the
fear of sex and the obsession of virginity. Even in the 21st century, it
has convinced many that ignorance of sexuality is the right path.
Sometimes we don’t pay attention, but it is there, from TLC’s show
“Virgin Diaries”, specials on Oprah, to the large numbers who actually
follow the teaching of the church, such as Tim Tebow, who will wait
until marriage.
With the recent news articles and
documentaries about “Purity Balls”, the world has once again become
shocked by the level of sexual suppression (and some unsavory
overtones), rather than openness, education, and disease prevention.
Please tell me this
does not make your face wrinkle up. Do you notice this kind of
celebration of ignorance is still not practiced with groups of teen
guys? Oh, they thought of that.
Purity Ball website Generation of Light has an answer for that as
well. “Every year we invite the sons to attend the Ball to watch the way
their fathers treat young women, and have had many attend with their
families because we believe this standard is also important for young
men to live out in their lives.” Once again, it is a tutorial, to show
men how to guide women’s sexuality, and a refusal to see that as a
sexist, patriarchal culture.
No More Pressure!
Now there should never be pressure to lose your virginity, especially
if someone wishes to keep it until they are educated and ready, willing
to give consent. however the opposite is true as well. Let us ask
organizations to stop condemning society for normal, healthy expressions
of sexuality, from intercourse to masturbation. Consent is the ONLY
element of morality when we discuss sexuality.
To end with a quote,
- Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet.-
St. Augustine
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